tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24119041358922050842024-03-13T08:45:34.612-07:00Got Guidance?This is: College and Career Guidance for Young Adults and the Parents that Love Them!Ann Bergenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09510699593730552448noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411904135892205084.post-9344971159064188822011-03-05T11:50:00.000-08:002011-04-02T12:35:26.117-07:00Making "Friends" Can Be Hard Work<b>Two things come to mind</b>: one, making friends for a group page on Facebook can be harder than you think; and two, making friends the old fashioned way is getting more complicated.<br />
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This epiphany struck me when I recently decided to branch out from my own personal facebook page and created a group page to promote my college and career center on campus. Frankly I thought it a fantastic idea. Imagine, no more depending on the ASB student, aka "Director of Student Social Media", to tweet or post my college/career visitor schedule, the latest scholarship opportunities, the career and technical ed. class sign ups, or to be perfectly honest any other career center promotionals I concoct to get students to head over to my office and take a look at the latest thing I'm promoting. Having learned and finally admitted to the gritty truth, that I am a born marketer, I figured going public with social media myself was for me a match made in heaven. <br />
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So, I create my own "group" on facebook, an extension of my own personal account, minus my name and profile pic that is. I post a few shout outs to the largest school "group" managed by the aforementioned ASB student and I sit back and wait for the bombardment of "likes" I'm sure to get... after a week and countless profile views by your's truly.... I'm still waiting. A month approaches, more updates by me, postings to our students' group wall, and yep,.... still waiting. Trying again, I update with more announcements, post some fun pictures, I even put up a video showcasing students' creativity in action, write catchy wall postings,... wait some more ... ask said ASB student, "can you tweet about my page please?" and "post a Facebook 'badge' to the website, mine and the school's?". He obliges. Yep,... still waiting. <br />
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Eleven. That's the number of like's I have for my new found project, 11. To break it down by demographics (no excel chart necessary to do this) 3 of my new "friends" are myself, and two other colleagues in my department. The rest are presumably students, except for one I'm not so sure about, but let's not go there. I ponder. I wonder. I ask myself,"so what am I doing wrong?". I consider posting a comment about Charlie Sheen to drive traffic to my "group", surely that'll do it. After careful reconsideration, I ditch that thought, remembering that I actually like my job and would like to keep it, thanks. Sometimes I'm a little slow, but even I can begin to see the writing on the "wall" or actually the lack thereof. This project is a little trickier than I first thought.<br />
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<b>Part two, making friends the old fashioned way is tricky too, especially in college.</b> Turns out this is tougher than I remember. For example, my youngest daughter is a sophomore in college. If you are one of the 11 or so following this other pet project, my blogging one, you might recall this daughter (also referred to as daughter #2 to keep her identity respectfully private) is back east in the DC area going to school. While still loving her college experience, it seems she is experiencing sporadic bouts of loneliness as her inner circle of friends are branching out into other clubs and organizations or traveling to their local home towns for various family obligations. <br />
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Her dad and I blab on about how she needs to branch out, join a university club, rush for a sorority perhaps, find a campus religious group, attend the basketball tournament, any number of things to bring her out and about. Last semester, having a fantastic internship on Capitol Hill with young professionals, kept her face to face time pretty high with new places to go and new people to meet. This semester, the roommate, same very compatible gal from last year, grabs a study abroad program opportunity and is off. The university, in a shuffle of probable paperwork oversight, overlooks moving in another roommate and gives said daughter the room to herself; a gift in one way, but leaving a hole in another. Her tight knit circle of friends from freshman year are developing a very full plate of activities in different directions that have left my daughter with a social life that is somewhat fragmented and at times a bit lonely.<br />
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Hmmm, what's an overly involved empty nest mom to do? I've got it! A trip to DC! That's it! After all, I run a high school career center, it’s my job to dissect the college and career planning needs of students. This must apply. I wonder even if this can be categorized as "professional development"? Maybe not. Anyway, a long President's weekend in my schedule means an opportune time to visit a far off campus. Cheap hotel rates in the dead of February and reasonable air fares make this parental call doable. I'm off. Turns out to be the best investment I made. With a stroke of luck, the holiday weekend is ridiculously warm and we have a blast together running all over DC and lally gagging around the comfortable hotel. I even catch up with her dorm friends. Check, all good there. Sure they're busy but they’re still a tight group. Yet, I still get a sense she is a bit lonely and a little sad. This lingers on in my mind as I return to the west coast.<br />
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A big secret most students don’t realize when going off to college: after the newness has worn off, after diving a little deeper into your area of study or stumbling into any given semester with a convergence of circumstances that leave one's social options dwindling, college can be a downright lonely place. There I said it, even when you are surrounded by a multitude of fellow students, endless social network options or unlimited phone exchanges, staying emotionally connected to other human beings is still just plain hard at times. This is the part of college most high school students don’t hear about. Parents often forget to share that part when they share their own glory days of college experiences. Parental memories, I have found, are often selective. Mine included. Throw in a little homesickness, restricted access to leave campus, a gloomy winter (especially for the relocated sun belt students), a schedule with too much or too little down time, roommate situations, bland cafeteria food, dwindling funds, changing majors, career concerns, colds and flus, subsequent housing needs of the upper classman, financial aid applications, a precarious social life or love life, rising tuition rates.... well you see where I'm going. Once there, the college life, albeit an often exciting time, also has the capacity to be an overwhelming and even a frighteningly lonely experience.<br />
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Friends make life more bearable. It's a simple truth. They uphold you when life is tough or at times downright cruel. A peer support system is crucial. Mark Zuckerberg, hit it big with Facebook alright. Without probably realizing it, or maybe he did, he tapped in to the basic human need to be connected. Combine that with a generation that was raised with technology and he struck gold. Trouble is, the more connected we have become, the more socially estranged we can be. The old fashioned way of making friends, face to face not Facebook to Facebook have become just that, old fashioned. Walking into a crowded room alone can still be a daunting task, especially for the less outgoing among us. Combine that with a mounting list of concerns over your emerging adult life, well, it’s just not all that pretty. So while I am not overly concerned over my daughter's sophomore year blues, I am at least aware of the reality of her life and the simple solution to "just join a club" is not that simple of a solution.<br />
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So while I am still hunting for the plethora of "friends" for my career center social media experiment, I'm still grateful to know that when students wander into the career center on their own to talk to me about whatever their college or career planning needs are, they often just want someone to talk to in person about what they are trying to do with their life. I like to be that person when I can. Stop, look and listen. That’s what my mom taught me when I learned to cross the street for the first time. It might be “old fashioned”, but it still works. Gets me across the street any way. It works with students too, I've found. Stop what I’m doing, look at the face in front of me and just listen. It almost always gets me to the other side of where I need to go with that student. <br />
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In the busyness of my day, it is my profound hope to be the face to face person students are looking to find, remembering to sideline virtual face time in exchange for the real, even if it means I stay at only "11" forever.Ann Bergenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09510699593730552448noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411904135892205084.post-1956007008589056142011-02-24T21:04:00.000-08:002011-02-24T21:04:14.732-08:0081 ThingsIt started with a list of 45 a co worker gave to me. I send one line to my college age daughters and husband a couple times a week. I've since added 36 more. Whatever your stage in life, high school, college or beyond, they're good reminders about the really important things in life.<br />
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1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.<br />
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.<br />
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...<br />
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.<br />
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.<br />
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.<br />
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.<br />
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.<br />
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.<br />
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.<br />
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.<br />
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.<br />
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.<br />
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.<br />
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.<br />
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.<br />
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.<br />
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.<br />
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.<br />
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.<br />
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.<br />
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.<br />
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.<br />
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.<br />
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.<br />
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'<br />
27. Always choose life.<br />
28. Forgive everyone everything.<br />
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.<br />
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.<br />
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.<br />
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.<br />
33. Believe in miracles.<br />
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.<br />
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.<br />
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.<br />
37. Your children get only one childhood.<br />
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.<br />
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.<br />
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.<br />
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.<br />
42. The best is yet to come.<br />
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.<br />
44. Yield.<br />
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.<br />
46. Love God, love your neighbor<br />
47. Learn to say you’re sorry, and mean it.<br />
48. Make health a priority.<br />
49. If you can correct a bad habit for 6 weeks, it will be gone.<br />
50. Bad company corrupts good morals.<br />
51. When necessary, walk away.<br />
52. The best things in life aren’t things.<br />
53. No one died wishing they spent more time in the office or on their career.<br />
54. Most of the things you worry about won’t happen.<br />
55. Move with the cheese.<br />
56. Work hard and be nice to people.<br />
57. Live beneath your means.<br />
58. Shut down computer, go outside, meet someone.<br />
59. Call your folks while you still can.<br />
60. Great love and great achievements involve great risk.<br />
61. Don’t worry, be happy.<br />
62. Set boundaries.<br />
63. Choose faith.<br />
64. Love unconditionally.<br />
65. An end can be a start.<br />
66. Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it helpful?<br />
67. Never put your face near a strange dog’s face. Never.<br />
68. Look both ways when crossing the street, even in a cross walk.<br />
69. Not deciding is still a choice.<br />
70. No one likes the smartest person in the room.<br />
71. Listen to the little voice in your head.<br />
72. Pride goes before a fall.<br />
73. Avoiding gossip also avoids being gossiped about.<br />
74. Smart women know how to maintain their cars.<br />
75. Avoid reckless behavior, yours and theirs.<br />
76. Be kind to your kids, they will decide on your rest home.<br />
77. Age gracefully, but do it with flare.<br />
78. Don’t return evil for evil.<br />
79. Choose your friends wisely.<br />
80. Tell the truth, even if it’s hard.<br />
81. Trust that God has good plans for you, to give you hope and a future and not plans to harm you.Ann Bergenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09510699593730552448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411904135892205084.post-11858829197374848022011-01-01T11:49:00.000-08:002011-01-01T11:57:43.278-08:002011 New Year's Resolutions....To open the door while opportunity is still knocking!Ann Bergenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09510699593730552448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411904135892205084.post-23251678432630654122009-11-13T07:53:00.000-08:002009-11-25T07:28:42.907-08:00When You're "Home Sick"So I am home sick today. I've been sick all week. Which means I am missing the USC game tomorrow and seeing my daughter at school! So the Trojans will have to "fight on" without me! This stinks!<br />
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It reminded me of when my college age daughters have been sick when away at school. I would have loved to jump in the car or get on a plane to go take care of them, but their being away to take care of themselves also means they've got to figure out how to do it, even in the worst of circumstances, including when they're sick.<br />
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So kids (and us "helicoptor" parents), think about this the next time you're visiting a far off college:<br />
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How close is the cafeteria to your dorm? When it's 40 degrees and raining and you're sick... what is your food situation going to be like? Notice from a dorm how close is the food location, or at least find out if you can have a mini fridge in your room or is there a mini kitchen on the dorm floor for students to break bread together with on occasion.<br />
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What is the health center like? If you're so sick the on campus doctor can't help you... what should you do? Does your parents' health insurance cover you when your not in your own neighborhood... Find out before you leave for school, not after you're there! <br />
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Can you get health coverage from your university? Are you required to purchase extra coverage through the college? Is it cost efficient or not? These are some of the hidden costs you might not think about at first, so ask!<br />
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What are the school's precautions for something like the H1N1 bug? Do they quarantine students? Hilary got the swine flu at her college this year and it was a rough go of it.<br />
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Do you have underlying health issues (like asthma or allergies) that will be difficult to manage in a different climate than your own? Or do you need some other special care in some way? What can you do before you get sick that will help you when you do get something?<br />
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All said, just a little foresight before you're at your "far away" campus will help you out when you're down and out freshman year. So, there's lots of ways to be "home sick" I guess. Some things never change.<br />
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Blessings and Good Health!Ann Bergenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09510699593730552448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411904135892205084.post-15283022039555716442009-11-08T16:08:00.000-08:002009-11-08T17:36:14.168-08:00Do they stay or do they go?When I was in college in the early 80’s The Clash had a hit song, “Should I stay or should I go?” <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqH21LEmfbQ">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqH21LEmfbQ</a>. Only The Clash could make indecision of an on again off again romance so profoundly cool. Fast forward 25 or so years, now with 18 to 20 year old daughters of my own, their lyrics takes on a new spin. It’s my kid’s song now, except it’s no tenuous love interest their beholden to, it’s worse, it’s me and their dad. Me and Rob, Rob and I. Ah yes, college, the great last frontier of a weigh station between childhood and adult independence. And to add to the dilemma, a sour economy makes extended support on us even more likely come graduation day. To paraphrase Dickens, a family favorite, “It is the best of times and it is the worst of times” (except, this is in the present tense, if you please).<br />
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I was reminded of this last night, when Hilary, daughter #2 “Skyped” (see <a href="http://www.skype.com">www.skype.com</a>) me. Through the wonders of our laptop webcams, I can see Hilary face to face though she is 3,000 miles away. Coincidently, her sister, Brooke, daughter #1, is visiting her in her dorm having flown out from her L.A. campus for a weekend sibling junket. Their first trip together, sort of, apart from childhood church camp that is. Brooke having scraped her pennies together to fund said trip to see her little “squirt”, they are free to explore our nation’s capital together where Hilary attends school. They are truly the best of friends, a good thing. “All is well”, I think. Two lovely daughters calling their mother with the excited chatter of their day’s events, like sharing with me a first day of school experience in years gone by. As I listen, they morph into the precious 7 and 5 year olds they once were.<br />
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“How sweet”, I sigh. Only a minute or two into the conversation, Hilary asks for my credit card number. "What?", I say, returning back from my parental past? "I found a good deal on my ticket home for Christimas." she explains. Yes, home for the holidays, home to see us, all good, but still, my charge card number is needed. Jokingly, I suggest, “oh, so you’re calling for money?”. No harm, it’s our full intent to pay for her visits home, yet, I drift again. A monetarily generated “Skype”? Does this to count as a phone call home? Am I entitled to a non credit card issued contact? Go figure, with multiple ways for college students to connect to their parent’s across the miles these days, there is now multiple ways to ask the age old college question, “Can you please send money?”.<br />
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Credit card request aside, I was delighted they were, “checking in” being very interested to be given an update on their daily together time. Wait a second, am I entitled to a daily update? Would my parents have expected this of me? Doubtful. I don’t recall being this accountable to them when I was in college myself. Even so, I justify, blame it on technology, having made instant communication a right we've come accustomed to instead of mere convenience. <br />
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As a parent, there is a whole new level now to the art of not letting go. If I think about it, I can blame frequent contact for a variety of reasons. First off, it's cheap. When I was in college, I wrote letters or called home only on the weekends and during certain hours because that's when the rates were cheapest. Not today though, our cell phone family plan means we can talk to each other anywhere in the country at no extra charge. Is this a good thing? Maybe. After all, I am paying for the dorm they’re sleeping in, the campus cafeteria they are eating in, the laptop their talking through, and the tuition (albeit, modified, due to Hilary’s previous academic success, but still slightly exceeding the cost of a University of California choice) being charged. Does that mean there are strings attached to all of this opportunity we’ve afforded them? Am I entitled to personal and relevant updates when I want it and how I want it? Well, maybe yes and maybe no.<br />
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Good thing for them, (though I wonder if they see it that way) I require an element of personal investment in their higher education. Whether we could afford it or not, their partial ownership of this grand adventure has been priceless. The sense of justified independence it gives them is worth ever blessed Stafford loan they’ve taken out or minimum wage job they’ve worked. It’s a sense of satisfaction they are paying their fair share and are entitled to their own privacy, adult learning experiences and unanswerable fun. This I really do believe and despite momentary slips, I do embrace such a philosophy.<br />
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It is written, to much that is given, much is required. It’s a little like politics isn’t it? The more we take in the way of assistance, the more we are beholden to the powers that be. Should our girls have stayed at home and lived under our roof while pursuing higher education, cutting us a break? Will they have to move back when their college days are through for lack of funds? Independence comes with a hefty price tag I guess, for them and for us. Ezma said is best I think (A Disney villaness from <span style="font-style:italic;">The Emperor’s New Grove</span>- a Brooke and Hilary favorite), “It’s a cruel irony, like my dependence on you…” Yes, a cruel irony indeed. <br />
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But at least Rob and I have gotten the house to ourselves for a time. And in some ways, that has made me glad and sad. Again, the dichotomy of opposites, because as The Clash said, “If I go there will be trouble, but if I stay there will be double…” and that’s something both sides of this equation can understand.Ann Bergenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09510699593730552448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411904135892205084.post-28961967538142792732009-10-31T19:39:00.000-07:002009-11-13T13:25:40.734-08:00College in 3? Now it's PersonalRecently, I received a rather exuberant call from my oldest daughter, Brooke, a junior at USC. Apparently, she had just come back from a meeting with her college advisor and after careful review of her transcript and this year’s schedule of courses; it appears Brooke can graduate this spring. Meaning, she’s completed all of her graduation requirements in just 3 years. Now, while this was still surprising, it was not completely out of the blue and was even at some level downright logical and to be expected. Let me explain.<br />
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First off, this is not your ordinary college student. Yes, I know most people say that about their own “amazing” star of a child, especially here in South O.C., but just hear me out. This is not really so much a brag story, as an individual case of getting our kid through college at a private university and still managing to survive the financial, emotional and often rollercoaster ride of parenting a college student. Let’s start with her major; theatre. “What?” you might be thinking. Yes, theatre. In case you doubt that there are underlying foundations of truth in “stereotypes”, let me put your mind to rest, this blonde hair, blue eyed O.C. girl is going to be an actress. So we are told. Yes, there is a plan “B”, hotel concierge, of which she has some work experience at a local resort one summer. I’m not making this up. But, just for the record, I am not nor have I ever been connected to the Real Housewives of Orange County although my kids did go to the same high school as the sons and daughters of the aforementioned show. Enough said. <br />
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And just for the record, yes, we did spend a great deal of effort trying to convince Brooke to find a different major, explore other talents, develop other skills and or career goals, etc., (in which she sincerely did by writing for her college newspaper for 3 semesters, but I’m getting ahead of myself). Finally, we surrendered to the dream and encouraged her to attend a university in the LA area, get a degree in the field she is passionate about, make connections and then go follow her passion. Uh huh. <br />
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Now, I know I am a Career Guidance Specialist at a high school, which means I basically coach students for a living in their aspirations and career goals. I give assessments and advise on career and technical education opportunities for young adults and make a point to keep up with the latest trends in college admissions as well as the many other avenues of the career and college exploration in today’s rapidly changing and fragile economic conditions. So, if there is anything I have learned, it’s to try and help students figure out what they are naturally good at and then help them figure out how to make a living at it. <br />
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I rationalize to many a parent, if you really love what you do, you will work hard at it, right? So encourage your son or daughter to follow what they love. Time and maturity well help them to focus their career goals. Our job is to help them discover what they are able to do and help them develop a plan of attack. Is there a variety of ways to fulfill your career goals? Sure. It’s not all one path, but a variety of paths that can splinter off and take one in a variety of different directions. Very few parents I talk to are they themselves doing what they envisioned they would be doing when they were in high school. Heck, there’s a good percent of jobs out there now that weren’t even invented when the baby boomers were growing up. So I ask them, parents and students alike, what would you work harder at, something you merely enjoy or the thing you spend daydreams on? You get the idea. Funny thing though, I’ve seen kids that were once flunking out, find a career class that starts them on a road they start excelling in and magically, their other grades begin to perk up. Amazing what a little encouragement and success will do.<br />
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So, my husband and I acquiesced to the “dream”. We figured, at the college level, where multiple applications and auditions are required to even be considered for a college theatre program, the university selection was a weeding out process in an of its self. After all, if Brooke could compete at that level, where competition can be just as fierce as any Division I sports program, or dare I say it, real world audition, what the heck, let Brooke toss herself into the fray and see what happens. And so she did come senior year of high school and it was met with some success. Taking us to where we are today; junior year of college.<br />
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Before we continue, let me give an overview of Brooke as a student, past and present. Very bright, ambitious, verbal and dramatic (there’s that acting thing). Teachers over the years enjoyed her spunk, classroom input and sarcastic wit. She excelled in reading, critical thinking, the arts; as a singer, comedian and high school drama queen, (I kid not), a strong and expressive writer, and a great test taker. That’s the pros. The cons? Scatterbrained, homework was often considered optional, lacked organizational skills and lacked an ability to manage her overcommitted activities. <br />
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Personally¸ Brooke has the capacity to be a fierce competitor, a heart and passion for social justice (doesn’t every actor have a cause?) deep religious convictions, sarcastic wit and an overall strong willed child. Essentially, she was 4 kids rolled into one, and a quirky one at that. She was both a joy and at the same time exhausting to raise. A parental rollercoaster of a ride that left my husband and I exhilarated on the one hand and at same time wanting to stop the ride and get off. She made us proud, but anxious and often frustrated. She also made us laugh and her big and generous heart made us cry. There were many hours on my knees praying for guidance, mercy and just plain gratitude for the opportunity to be Brooke’s mom that challenged and grew me up right along with her.<br />
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Brooke spent her high school career taking Advanced Placement classes and a summer school community college class in amongst the plethora of all her extracurricular performance based activities and odd jobs. She took on leadership roles at many levels and was recognized for her achievements. She sailed through not only her SAT test, but also AP tests and garnered nearly a year’s worth of college credits before she attended her freshman year at USC. I proposed if she could graduate a semester early and cut us a financial break, we would be willing to help pay out the balance of a lease on her off campus apartment in LA while she tries to make it in the “biz”. It seemed like a good plan, and Brooke carefully followed her schedule and auditioned for every conceivable theatrical production at school. She landed a few small parts in student productions, a part with a cinema student’s short film and a School of Theatre role. Generally, she excelled in classes with a “B+” average overall, found herself a part time job on campus to help pay some of her bills at school, kept out of trouble by avoiding much of the big party scene on campus, enjoyed the college football games, wrote a column and several pieces and artistic reviews for the Daily Trojan and even became an Assistant Editor of the Lifestyle section for a semester. <br />
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Upon my urging Brooke applied to multiple scholarships, received a small one, took out Stafford loans to help pay for her education and even found time to volunteer at a local food pantry. She made good friends in her dorm and overcame a rather difficult roommate situation her freshman year. She bonded with her professors, sang in a choir, learned to cook her own meals and live on a budget. All in all, she “played” her part. And mind you, less you think the theatre major was a bogus and wimpy degree, it takes 60 units to fulfill the degree, that’s 10 to 15 more units than most degrees on campus require. Rehearsals often run late into the night and memorization of pages of dialogue, observing human idiosyncrasies and mimicking unfamiliar character traits are a partial list of academics these students master. Nope, it’s not engineering, architecture or pre-med, but would this student have remotely made it in any of those departments? I think not. <br />
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Beyond her education, Brooke’s college experience gave her necessary life skills and personal connections she will carry with her the rest of her life. College, my husband and I have believed, wasn’t just about getting a degree and getting a job (though that would all be good), it’s about growing up and going out and being who you were created to be; not only a worker but a contributing member of society. That’s Brooke, somebody that will make a difference and dare to take on the world and we believed she was worth the investment. <br />
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So, if she does indeed graduate this spring, saving us a tidy sum, do we owe her more than our debt of gratitude? Maybe the pink slip to the extra car she’s driven around for the last few years? After all, she is an unemployed actress, how else will she get to auditions? What does she need to get started and what is our obligation to help her? How far do we take it, or do we say, your gift was the education at a pricey elite school that most students could only dream about. Have I mentioned we have daughter #2 in college back east having recently started this past fall? A valedictorian that managed to turn in all her homework? One with a significant scholarship, but certainly not a full ride. Is she deserving of an extra “bonus” for her hard work? Will these kids ever get out of my checkbook? If I had known the price of their successes years ago, I might have nagged about turning in homework less! <br />
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Brooke’s early graduation may have been a bonus for her a few years back when she first was enrolling in said university, but that was before a recession has taken its toll, before I received a pay cut and Brooke’s dad had a drop off of clients and is weathering the worst business climate of his career. Now, it’s basically a downright necessity for Brooke to graduate early in order to educate Hilary, daughter #2. In as much, what if Brooke would like to stay the fall semester of what technically would be her senior year? Do we owe her that? Are there life lessons on campus she has still left to learn? She would probably take more theatre classes, some classes that are just for the heck of it, or possibly try to pick up a minor area of study. She mentioned, Near and Ancient Religious Studies with an emphasis in Archaeology. Ok, I might have to draw the line somewhere, unless she can get a gig as host for a history cable channel show dubbed, “The Singing Archeologist”. Ah yes, all that tuition money going to good use. Well, at least it was done in 3 years… hopefully.Ann Bergenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09510699593730552448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411904135892205084.post-8851525327798115662009-10-10T09:17:00.000-07:002009-10-10T12:28:31.282-07:00Tip #1-- Simplfy!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"></span></span></span><span style="font-weight:bold;">Starting a college search? Keep your strengths and interests in mind. </span> <br /><br />This advice sounds rather basic, but surprisingly many students don't think about their college search this way. If you don't think about what you're good at, it's easy to become confused and feel completely overwhelmed when thinking about what to do with your life. In today's tough economy, it's just downright scary! <br /><br />As a high school Career Guidance Specialist I suggest to almost every student, before you start pouring through mounds of college websites and countless glossy brochures, start first with a quick career assessment. It's alright to not know exactly what you want to do as a career, but by now, most high school students already know what they like and don't like to do; if you're a parent, I bet you've been getting this input for a while now from your teenager. The internet has countless of free career assessments that can be easily taken. The initially revealed options may not set one's heart on fire, yet anyway, but it might give some insight as to what would be a natural fit. There's a chance a young adult's future career hasn't even been invented yet, but a student can at least develop an idea of what area or "industry" might be a good fit. From there, cultivating some idea of what type of education or training would complement a career goal is now a small step in the right direction, versus a blind leap into the unknown. <br /><br />So students, even if you think you know what you want to study or have a preconceived career goal in mind, just do an assesment to verify your ideas. You might be surprised at what turns up on an a simple test. Parents, go over your son or daughter's results. It's fascinating to see how much they might resemble their mom or dad in their strengths and interests. So go ahead, get started, then lauch the college search from there. I've chosen a local Community College in Orange County, CA (Saddleback Community College <a href="http://www.saddleback.edu">www.saddleback.edu</a>) that has posted on their website their login information to the following career exploration site.<a href="http://www.careercruising.com">www.careercruising.com</a> type in Saddleback for username and 92692 for your password. Happy cruising!Ann Bergenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09510699593730552448noreply@blogger.com0